


The Worse The Pain Is The Better The Pleasure

by Pjkal



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:45:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4379522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pjkal/pseuds/Pjkal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Want to do a short story between Kaneki and Hide because I have been bombarded with constant feels. Now I put my foot down, I refuse to feel unless I contribute to the misery. So here, have this. Enjoy and please don't kill me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cece, please don't kill me when this is done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worse The Pain Is The Better The Pleasure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shingekinosocialskills](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shingekinosocialskills/gifts).



> This story will probably be, at max, 5 chapters. I apologize for adding new stories when I haven't completed my last stories. Enjoy this, hopefully it will make you feel all the feels.
> 
> I have a tumblr too: Goddessnesss.tumblr.com

I don't think I've ever really felt this way before, as cheesy as that sounds. I know, you really don't want to read about some dork falling in love with his best friend - but I feel like I should share my part of the story in case something ever happens to me... And knowing me, it probably will happen sooner than I expect.

I would see him sitting there, biting his lower lip and a steaming cup of coffee sitting right in front of his face. He didn't seem bothered by the steam which made his skin a bit sticky - but his nose was too deep into his book to even be bothered. His jet black hair nearly fell in his eyes and his eyes paced the pages of his book quickly. He hardly noticed me walk in as I skipped over to the table, setting my headphones down with a thud so I could get his attention.

"Yo, Kaneki!" I said as my friend jumped, now recognizing my presence. "Hello, Hide. You're 10 minutes late. Not that I mind, I got some reading done." I chuckled as the waitress placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of me. I nodded to her in appreciation as I gently took my friends book, marking the page and set it down. "I'm here now, though, so pay attention to me!"

I flashed a goofy grin at him, hoping he wouldn't get upset about my interrupting him. I loved how his cheeks were constantly pink with a blush; wide, innocent eyes and a polite smile. "I'm sorry. My book was just really good. Anyway, how was your chemistry class?"

I didn't really pay any attention after replying, as he started talking about his own classes. I placed my chin on my hands and let my arms slide out, tilting my head upwards to stare up at him as a goofy grin crept onto my lips. Kaneki had a cute way of speaking, stuttering once or twice - causing him to blush darkly. I caught him staring at one of the waitresses or a customer that he thought was cute. I was just happy he was there speaking to me.

"The waitress it waaaay too far out of your league, you know? Too pretty for you, nerdy Ken." He pouted, "Yeah, like you could get a girl like that." I stared at him for a second before he laughed, "Oh yeah... You're not really into girls." I shrugged, "Hey, don't judge me. But you should talk to her." He shook his head, biting his lip and looking down like a shy little middle schooler. "You will never know until you ask."

He looked at me, "Why don't I practice with you?" I was taken aback for a split second, then nodded. "Fire away, hunk." He cleared his throat, then forced a smile. "Excuse me, miss. Do you mind if I buy you a cup of coffee? I saw that you have an excellent taste in stories so I thought it would be nice to talk to a like minded person." I chuckled, lightly tapping the table. "It's a tad creepy that you know the type of books she reads, meaning you've been watching her for a while. But it's a polite gesture, none the less."

Kaneki huffed, "What do you suggest I do?" I shrugged, "The plan is solid, just mention the current book she is reading, instead of the past few books." I saw him struggle internally and I honestly just wanted to hug him, his frustration was written across his face. I was normally allowed to be affectionate with Kaneki, but I doubted right now would be appropriate - he would probably whine and pout. He had only been hit on by men - women thought he was cute and didn't really see him as dating material yet, even though we were in college. I couldn't really give him any advice, seeing that I've crushed on him since I first saw him and I've still never said anything.

Kaneki was bisexual, but he still seemed to lean towards more feminine company. "Look, if it doesn't work out, we can try tomorrow. Tonight you can come and practice with me, if you want. Or we can have dinner and plan your attack strategy." He nodded, "I will try tomorrow. What do you want for dinner?"

I shrugged, "It's up to you." I knew Kaneki had no one at home, so I normally tried to be his everything - friend, family, therapist and moral support. He decided on ramen and that he would make it if I brought over some video or board games. As we parted ways, I scolded myself on not talking to him about how I felt. I had some gut feeling that something was going to happen to him... And I just wanted to be able to be around him before anything happens.

As I arrived at his apartment, gaming console in one arm and a few board games in the other, I ended up stretching and hitting the doorbell with my shoe. He opened the door, wearing a dorky old apron, basketball shorts and socks. "Come on in!"

I deposited my shoes at the door, then walked in, placing my assortment of games on his coffee table. I smelled the bowls of noodles that sat on the table, seeing everything set out as if it was a family dinner. I nodded at his mother's picture respectfully before walking over to the table, sitting down across from him. "You arrived just in time, I just finished making it. I didn't use a box this time!" I nodded, "Smells delicious." I said and he nodded, "Thanks. Dig in."

The apartment was silent as we slurped up the noodles. I watched him as he picked at the eggs he boiled, mixing the soft yolk into the broth with his chopsticks, playing with his food like a child. "What's wrong?" I asked, being a tad of a worry wart and knowing him better than I knew myself, I knew something was on his mind. "N-Nothing." He placed his hand on his chin and I frowned. _Lair_.

"I don't want to fuck it up with the girl tomorrow." He sighed - giving in, "I know I'm a practically useless nerd who is socially awkward, but I want to give dating a try." I nodded, "Understandable. Well the key is confidence. Just be honest with yourself about how you feel and let your emotions mix with what you're going to say. Being true to yourself is how you will win her over, even if she is hot and you're a dork." He pouted and I chuckled, "Just kidding, Ken. You know I will always love you, nerd or not."

_Wait. What?_

He smiled sweetly, "Thank you, Hide. You're a great friend. I would be hopeless without you." My heart sunk a bit and I swallowed the lump in my throat, but I forced a smile. "Yeah, you would be. Finish your food before it gets cold." We ate in a less awkward (for him, anyway) silence.

We did dishes together and continued to play games for hours. He spoke about his book, agreed he would speak to the girl tomorrow like he planned and took a small trip down memory lane. I will never forget meeting Kaneki Ken, it will be a memory I keep until I die. We sat together on the couch, playing video games until wee hours of the morning. He slid closer to me, resting his head on my shoulder like he does when he is exhausted.

_Fuck me._ I swore silently as I adjusted myself so he could be comfortable. I heard his breaths slow and his head grew heavier on my shoulder as his body started to go slack. I turned off the gaming system and sighed, turning and gently placing Kaneki's head on one of his couch pillows, then placing a blanket over him.

I tucked him in, sort of like a mother would. I smiled as I picked up the rest of the mess and sat on the individual couch across from the larger on Kaneki was now resting on. I sighed and finally released myself of my constant smile, he wasn't awake so it wasn't needed. I worried for my best friend, he was so lonely and constantly in his own world, maybe dating a coffee waitress or one of her shop's patrons would be good for him.

I thought about it for a bit and sucked air in sharply, it hurt like a bitch that I was the best friend. I loved my relationship with him, but I would never be the one I wanted to be. I wanted to care for and love Kaneki as much as I was allowed - I refused to allow my true feelings to show because I didn't want to scare him off. The pit settled into my stomach, wrenching my guts and causing my eyes to start stinging.

The warm tears leaked down my cheeks and I sniffed, groaning. I wished that I wasn't so weak right now, but he was asleep. He wouldn't be able to tell, regardless if I cried here or at home - I never wanted to put that on him. As I sniffled and wiped at my eyes, I looked over and saw him looking at me with wide eyes. They still had sleep in them, so he must have just seen, but I was still fucked.

"O-Oh! Hey!" He got up and rushed over, taking my hand and sitting in front of me. Our friendship wasn't normal, it was a lot more affectionate and caring that most, but I enjoyed it. "What's wrong, Hide? Are you okay?" I nodded, "Yeah, sure thing! Just tired and stuff. Don't worry about it." He pulled me into a hug, which I accepted after a small debate with myself. "If you need to talk, don't hold it in, Hide."

I shook my head, "Don't worry, it's my lack of sleep. I was studying a lot last night and I didn't get enough sleep. I'm emotional right now, but don't worry about it." Kaneki frowned, he knew I was full of shit, but I was never really emotional like this around him for a reason. I didn't want to make him worry over me, that was my job with him. "Hide, you were crying and I want to know the real reason why. It has to be important if it's coming from you."

I wanted to stop and shut this down immediately, but he was persistent. "It's just stress Kaneki." I looked at him and squeezed his hand, "I think it might be that we are about to become totally independent and I want us to stick together, you know? I'm gonna miss this if you end up moving like you want to. And..." I stopped myself. I wasn't going to stop him from going on his date, I wanted Kaneki to be happy, even if that meant I was silent forever.

He stood up, then made me scoot over, wiggling his way into the corner of my seat. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed, "Oh man... I know it's sort of crazy to think about, but we will be friends for as long as we live, Hide. I promise. We protect each other." He squeezed and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me. I kissed the top of his head then paused, there was no break for my heart today, was there?

Kaneki tensed up, then looked up at me with those wide eyes - a blush now appearing on his cheeks again. "Sorry." I muttered as he shook his head, leaned upward and landed a quick peck on my lips. My entire face went red and I looked away as he buried his face in my chest. "You really should talk to that girl tomorrow. It will be good progress for you." He nodded, "Can you stay until I fall asleep, Hide? Or you can stay, that would be nice. But I just want you here for a little bit."

  
I chuckled, "Okay. I'll stay for a bit. Get some sleep, Kaneki. I'm sorry I woke you." I truly felt like I was home in his arms as he chuckled softly. "Don't apologize, just rest." I shifted my body so he could lay there and doze off. I stayed and slept there for a few hours, waking up at 5 in the morning to slip out and rush to my English class I forgot was happening this morning. I was going to meet Kaneki later, where he would confront that girl at the coffee shop. Where I would lose my chance to be with him for good.


End file.
